Giving your child a smart start : a guide for parents of newborns thru age 3.

              quick reference: helping your crying baby
quick reference: concerned about your child’s development
quick reference: finding quality child care
quick reference: schedule for immunizations / parent resources
giving your child
a smart start
a guide for parents
of newborns thru age 3
free gift
for your child!
see details inside
what is Smart Start Oklahoma?
Smart Start is Oklahoma’s Early Childhood Advisory Council, advancing
Start’s state and local leadership teams include businesses, agencies,
programs, parents, and providers who all share a commitment to serving
Oklahoma’s young children better.
our vision
All Oklahoma children will be safe, healthy, eager to learn and ready to
succeed by the time they enter school.
our communities
Local citizens know what is needed and what can be done to create a brighter
future for the children who live in their communities. Smart Start Oklahoma
has a network of 18 communities, reaching 51 counties across the state. Each
community promotes school readiness, develops local resources, ensures that
local early childhood programs and services are coordinated and efficient,
and that families have the resources they need to prepare their children for
school. Please see the back of this guide for a contact list of Smart Start
Communities in Oklahoma.
opportunities that improve the lives of young children in Oklahoma. Smart
dear parent:
Congratulations and best wishes on having the most important job in
the world—parenthood! Whether this is your first or last child, parenthood is a
journey full of memorable moments and challenges. Preparing your child for the best
life possible is up to you, and you don’t have to go it alone. Smart Start Oklahoma
has prepared this guide to help you make sure your child has a smart start.
Each day of your child’s life is important and one step closer to his or her first day
of school. Unfortunately, many of Oklahoma’s children arrive to school on the first
day without the skills to succeed. This Guide for Parents provides you with the critical
information you need to know so your child grows up physically, emotionally, and
intellectually healthy.
As a pediatrician and the Board Chair for Smart Start Oklahoma, I commend you
for taking the time to review this material and I hope that you find it an excellent
resource.
All the best,
Marianne “Dr. Marny” Dunlap, M.D.
Board Chair, Smart Start Oklahoma
If I am crying, it could mean that I…
• Am wet • Want to change position
• Am too hot or too cold • Want to be held
• Am sleepy • Need to be burped
• Am hungry • Have colic
If nothing seems to help me calm down,
check with my doctor to see if something is wrong.
Soon you will be able to tell the difference
between my cry that says, “feed me,” and the one
that says “pick me up and hold me.”
Remember, it is common for babies to have
a fussy time each day.
watch for me to
• Develop feelings of safety, security, and
trust in parents and other caretakers.
• Express my needs by crying; your
response helps me to learn to trust.
• Look to see who is talking.
• Move my eyes to follow something
that moves in front of my face. Look at you,
look away, and then look at you again when
we are playing. I can see best when an object
is about 8 inches from my face.
• Sleep a lot. I don’t know when it is night, so
I will wake up in the night and want to eat.
• Eat every few hours. When I’m not
eating, I may sleep most of the time.
• Be fussy and cry more than you would
like me to cry. Don’t be afraid to hold me.
• Suck on my fingers or pacifier. I like to
suck even when I am not hungry.
• Be startled by loud noises.
• Adjust to my surroundings and it’s noises.
help me be safe
whenever we ride in the car…
• Put me in a car seat, put the straps on right,
and place me in the backseat. Oklahoma law
requires that I be in a car seat when I am in a car
until I’m big enough to wear a regular seat belt.
The car seat is the only safe place for me to be. In
addition, I should be in the backseat and facing
backward until I am 22 pounds. So use the car
seat even if I fuss.
make my sleep safe…
• Place me on my back to sleep as I should
sleep on my back until I’m able to turn over
by myself.
• Doctor’s agree that the safest place for me
is to sleep in your room in a separate area. My
bed needs to be safe with a firm mattress that fits
snugly in the frame with a fitted sheet that is tight
around the mattress and avoid placing anything
in the bed with me. Also, keep me away from
sleeping on futons, sofas, chairs or recliners as I
can become trapped and suffocate.
• Dress me in a one-piece sleeper with
nothing over me and keep the room temperature
comfortable for a lightly clothed adult (68° to
72°). If it’s cold, layer my clothing (for example,
add a tee shirt and socks under my sleeper) and
use only a light blanket, if necessary.
• Should parents fall asleep with me in their
bed, keep me safe and never let me sleep with
anyone who is very tired or a heavy sleeper, is
extremely overweight, smokes, has been drinking
or has taken medications (illegal, prescribed, or
over-the-counter) that can make them sleepy.
check the batteries in our smoke
detector…
• Have you thought of how you would help
me get out if there was a fire? Practice a fire drill.
don’t forget…
• Never leave me alone with pets and keep
me away from cigarette and cigar smoke. It’s
hard on my developing lungs.
help me be healthy
before I come home from the hospital…
• I will have a hearing screening and I may
have a hepatitis shot. I will have a blood test
designed to screen babies for several genetic
disorders. The doctor or nurse will take a small
amount of blood by pricking my heel before I
leave the hospital. If the test shows a possible
problem, you and my doctor will be notified and
a follow-up visit will be arranged.
when I go for my first checkup…
• I will be weighed and measured.
• I will be looked at everywhere. The doctor
will want to know how we are all doing as a
family and will answer any questions. My health
is very important and that is why we go to the
doctor or clinic for well-baby check-ups.
feed me when I am hungry…
• Breast milk or iron fortified formula is the
only food I need. It will probably take us several
weeks to adjust to a feeding schedule. This is
normal. If I am breastfeeding, I may eat every 2
to 3 hours. Get in the habit now of wiping my
gums after feedings with a soft washcloth even
before I have teeth.
• I am getting enough to eat if I am…
…Growing
…Having 4-6 wet diapers a day
…Having at least one stool a day.
birth–1 month
I talk by crying…
for more ideas
to help me
calm down, read
helping your
crying baby at the
end of this guide
help me learn
• Hold me, cuddle me, rock me, hug me and let
me look at your face.
• Change my position every once in a while.
• Talk to me, sing to me, read to me.
Describe my surroundings to me, tell where and
what you are doing as you carry me around.
• Put a picture on the side of my bed. Hang
a mobile over my crib. Put them on securely so I
can’t pull them down.
• Listen to gentle music with me.
When you feel stress building, talk to your
spouse, a family member or a good friend about
your feelings. It helps to talk with someone who is
close to you. Ask someone to come watch me so you
have a break.
Join a group of parents where they talk about
ways to help children grow. To find out about parenting
groups or classes, call 211 (http://www.211oklahoma.
org/) or the Oklahoma Areawide Services Information
System (OASIS) at 1-800-426-2747 (http://oasis.
ouhsc.edu/) or your local county health department and
ask for Child Guidance Services. These resources are
also available for a parent having trouble finding the
fun times when parenting.
Read about being a parent. There are books,
magazines, newsletters and flyers for parents. Visit
the Oklahoma State Department of Health’s Child
Guidance webpage for parenting publications to read
at: http://www.ok.gov/health/Child_and_Family_
Health/Child_Guidance_Service/
watch for me to
• Continue developing feelings of
safety, security, and trust in parents and
other caretakers.
• Express my needs by crying and your
response helps me to learn to continue to trust.
• Wave, kick, and squirm when lying on
my back.
• Make sounds like “uh”, “eh”, and “oh.”
• Look and stare at things. I look at you
a lot.
• Lift my head up and turn it sideways
when I am on my stomach.
• Turn to you and smile when I see or
hear you.
• Quiet down, move my eyes or change
expression when I hear your voice or I hear
some other noise.
Children are very different from one
another. Don’t worry if I am early or late in the
ways that I am growing. If I was born prematurely
or have some special needs, then it may take me
a little longer to do some of the things listed. Help
me learn new things. If you are concerned, talk to
my doctor or nurse.
You may notice that I also:
• Sometimes cross my eyes or have only
one eye open at a time. This is normal. I will
do this until my eye muscles get stronger.
• Gurgle and smile when I am happy.
• Have tears when I cry. My tear ducts are
starting to work now.
• Like to suck my thumb or pacifier.
Sucking is a way that I learn about my world
and one way that I calm myself down.
help me be safe
• Handle me gently. Support my head and
neck when you hold me. Do not pick me up by
my arms or swing me by my arms or legs. Do not
shake me or throw me in the air.
• Protect me from falls. Be careful not to fall
with me in your arms. Do not leave me alone on
a changing table or other high place. I could fall
and hurt myself.
• Provide “Tummy Time” for me to play
and exercise while I am awake and you are
watching me.
help me be healthy
At this checkup, I will:
• Be weighed and measured and have
several immunizations (shots). Look at
the immunization schedule at the back of this
guide to see a list of the immunizations I will
get at this checkup. These shots help my body
to build defenses against disease. I will need to
have these shots if I am going to be in child care
or preschool and before I go to kindergarten.
Take my shot record with me so the doctor or
nurse can write down the date that I had these
immunizations.
I eat about 5-7 times a day.
• Some babies, particularly breastfed
babies, may eat more often on some
days. Breast milk or iron-fortified formula should
still be my only food now. Do not put cereal or
other solid food in my formula. My body is not
ready for solid foods until I am 4 to 6 months
old. Feeding solids too early may cause me to
have allergies or to eat too much. My doctor
might suggest that I have vitamin drops if I am
nursing or was born prematurely. Talk to the
doctor about this.
How do you know I am hungry?
• I might be fussy or suck my finger or
pacifier. It’s okay to try to feed me. Nursing or
iron-fortified formula is what I want.
2–3 months
help me learn
• Read to me everyday.
• Let me feel different objects by rubbing
them against my hands. Let me feel some soft
materials and some that are bumpy. I like to feel
the different clothes you wear.
• Tell me how special I am. Smile and talk to
me a lot.
• S how me bright colors. I can easily see the
difference between black and while and red
and yellow.
• Look at me when you talk to me. I want to
copy your mouth. Repeat the sounds I make. I like
the game of making sounds.
being a parent is hard work!
if I am going
to be in a child
care program,
please review
the finding
quality child care
reference in this guide
Help me learn why some things are not safe.
If I go to the stove or heater say, “hot” and move me
away. Save the word “stop” for dangerous things
(reaching for an electrical outlet) and say “wait” for
things that I need to learn how to manage (ex: instead
of “stop spilling the cup,” say “wait, let me show you
how to hold the cup”).
Put things out of reach that you do not want me
to swallow or put in my mouth. Pills, cleaners, makeup
or plants are dangerous. If you think I have swallowed
something, first call the Poison Control Center at
1-800-222-1222.
watch for me to
• Sit without help and start to crawl.
• Feed myself a cracker, cereal, or food I
can eat with my fingers—I’m pretty messy.
• Say sounds of “ma,” “ga,” “da,” “di,”
“ba,” and make other sounds.
• Pick up small things using my whole
hand in a raking motion.
• Listen to people talking and try to make
some sounds.
• Hold a small block in one hand and
pass it to the other hand.
• Look for something that I have
dropped.
• Hold onto something and stand for
about 5 seconds.
Children are very different from one another.
Don’t worry if I am early or late in the ways I
am growing. Just keep on helping me learn new
things. If you are concerned, talk to my doctor
or nurse.
help me be safe
Now that I can pull myself up, there
are new safety dangers:
• When cooking, turn pot handles to
the center of the stove. Don’t leave spoons or
anything hanging over the edge of the stove.
• Check knobs on the television and stereo to
see if they can come off.
• Look for cords, chairs or tables with
wheels and floor lamps and bookshelves that
could be pulled over. When I pull or push on
these, they could fall over on me.
• Move the crib mattress to the lowest
position so I can’t fall or climb out.
• Keep things picked up so I don’t fall over
anything or swallow something I should not.
• Use corner protectors on sharp edges of
furniture.
• Keep the bathroom door closed so I don’t
play in the toilet bowl.
• Use safety plugs in outlets that I have access to.
• Use cabinet safety locks for areas with
medicines or cleaning products.
• Take away anything that dangles. I will
pull on a tablecloth or dresser scarf. Keep my crib
away from drapery and venetian blind cords.
help me be healthy
At this check-up, I will be:
• Weighed and measured.
• Watched to see what I do when sounds
are made.
• Listened to when I talk.
• Given any immunizations and have any
blood tests that I have missed. Remember to
take my shot record with me to be updated at the
doctor’s office.
Starting me on meats.
• At 8 months, I can have meats prepared
for babies. Add the baby food meats to my
meals of cereal, vegetables, and fruit. Remember:
No cow’s milk until I am 1 year old.
Shoes or no shoes?
• I don’t really need shoes to help me
learn how to walk. When I do learn to walk,
shoes or sneakers will protect my feet.
8–9 months
I am curious about the world…
if I am going to be in a child care program, please review
the finding quality child care reference in this guide
Check my toys:
• Look to see that they are not broken and
they don’t have any sharp edges or pieces that
can hurt me. If I have stuffed animals and dolls
with button eyes or noses, check to be sure that
they cannot come off.
I can easily choke:
• Don’t feed me hard foods or foods that
crumble easily, such as graham crackers. Use an
empty toilet paper tube to determine if toys are
big enough for me. If they fit in the tube, I might
choke on them.
help me learn
• Teach me to be patient by modeling that
yourself. Tell me what to expect and then follow
through with what you have told me.
• Read to me. Point to pictures as you tell me
about them.
• Hide a toy under a cloth so I can look for it.
• Help me understand my body parts by
pointing to them and naming them.
• Play hide and seek with me. Ask me,
“where is _____(name a person or thing)?” I will
try to look for this person or item.
• Play, “So Big!” Show me how to lift my arms
over my head and say “So Big!”
• Give me a chance to smell some sage
things, such as food, flowers, and spices. Tell me
about how they smell.
Help me get ready to go to sleep. Bedtimes can
be a problem when I am overtired. I really enjoy a
story or other quiet activity before I go to sleep. This
bedtime routine helps me settle down.
If child care is in my future and you need
help finding a quality child care facility, call the
Oklahoma Child Care Resource and Referral
Association at 1-888-962-2772 or go online to the
Oklahoma Department Human Services Child Care
Locator at http://204.87.68.21/childcarefind/
help me be safe
• Help me learn what is alright to do. Show
me and tell me what you want me to do and
remember that you will have to do this over and
over as I don’t always remember. If I don’t do it
or disobey you, show me or tell me again. Praise
me when I do it right. Do not yell or hit me as this
just doesn’t work. It only teaches me to yell and hit
others. I learn more quickly and easily if you teach
or show me the right way than if you punish me.
• Teach me not to play around stairs or
windows. Accidents can happen. Check the
screens on the windows. Make sure the screens
are not broken or torn. The screens should be
attached securely so I can’t open them.
• Be calm when I have a temper tantrum. It
is O.K. for me to cry because I don’t have enough
words yet to explain my anger or frustration.
You can say “I know you feel really angry (or
frustrated) when that happens!” As I grow older,
and with your help, I can learn ways to deal with
my feelings that are appropriate.
Some ways to help stop a tantrum:
• When I am upset, let me calm down and then
help me change my attention to something I can do.
• Stay calm.
• Keep me from hurting myself by putting me
in a safe place.
• Hug me and comfort me when I have
calmed down.
• Spanking and yelling at me do not help.
It only makes me even more upset. I will calm
down on my own. When I am calm, help me to
do an activity that I enjoy.
help me be healthy
At this checkup:
• I will be weighed and measured.
• I will have several shots. Look at the
immunization schedule at the back of this guide
to see which shots I will receive at this check-up. If
I had any reactions to the immunizations before,
remind the doctor or nurse about what happened.
�� Ask the doctor or WIC Nutritionist about my
eating habits. I am eating a variety of foods. Don’t
worry if my appetite changes from meal to meal.
• Take my shot record whenever we go to the
clinic or doctor.
13–15 months
sometimes I get overtired…
if you ever need parenting
guidance call 2-1-1 for help
help me learn
• Sit with me on your lap and read a picture
book. Encourage me to find things pictured,
“Where’s the bird?” “Find the ball.” “What is the
boy doing? Is he swinging?” Encourage me to
turn the pages of the book on my own.
• Play hide and seek games with me.
• I like to copy what you do. Some of the
time it will be fun for you to copy what I do.
• Build a tower of blocks with me.
• I like to climb on things and need your help
in letting me do this safely.
• I need for you to put away your fragile
or breakable items as my curiosity could damage
these items and possibly hurt me. Give me safe
items to play with.
• I want to show you how independent
I am by doing what I want, not what you want
me to do. Keep me safe but allow me as much
freedom as possible to explore new things.
• I like to imitate, like sweeping the floor or
pushing the grocery cart.
• I can scribble with chunky or large crayons
on paper.
• I may let you know if I have wet or soiled
pants but I’m still too young to be toilet trained.
watch for me to
• Mostly want my own way; I don’t
cooperate much so I need for you to be
patient with me.
• Say 4 or 5 simple words but can’t tell
you with my words what I want or need. I am
going to cry and scream since that is the only
way I know how to communicate with you.
• Let you know what I want without
crying. I may point, reach, make a sound, put
up my arms, pull on you or even say a word.
• Stand for 10 seconds or more.
• Wave bye-bye when someone is leaving
and I might also say “bye-bye.”
• Call you “mama” and “dada.” You are
so happy to hear me say those words when I
see you.
• Talk all the time. Most of the time it sounds
like jabbering and I am the only one who
knows what it means.
• Know the meaning of some words like
“juice”, “cup”, “no”, and “out.”
• Stop to pick something up and stand up
again without holding on to anything.
• Drop small things like a block into a
container. When I do this, I open my hand to
drop the block.
• Turn and look when you call my
name.
• I am learning at my own pace. If you
have questions because you think it is taking
me a long time to learn to do some of the items
on this list, please call my doctor or nurse.
You may also notice that I:
• Have a change in appetite. I may not
eat as much as I used to because I am not
growing as fast.
• May put all my energy into learning
to walk. Because I am learning to walk, I
might be slow to learn some other things.
Help me think about what I do. For ideas on
how to help me behave, join a parenting class or
support group. Call 211(http://www.211oklahoma.
org/) or the Oklahoma Areawide Services Information
System (OASIS) at 1-800-426-2747 (http://oasis.
ouhsc.edu/) or your local county health department
and ask for Child Guidance Services.
watch for me to
• Walk by myself!
• Help around the house. I can put
something on the chair when you ask me, I
can get what you ask me to get and I can put
something away if you remind me.
• Drink from a cup or glass by myself,
maybe spilling only part of it.
• Say “no” and shake my head from side
to side.
• Toss a ball back and forth with you.
• Say at least 5 words other than “dada”
and “mama.”
• Play along side a friend but rarely play
with them.
• Scoot around on riding toys.
• Push and pull items, I like to move around!
help me be safe
• Close the bathroom doors so I don’t play
in there.
• I can feed myself, but it is still easy for
me to choke on food. Don’t give me small
foods like peanuts, popcorn, marshmallows, or
gumdrops. Other foods that are not safe for me
to eat are raw carrots and celery, grapes, hot
dogs and Vienna sausage. Always watch me
while I eat.
• Now I can climb and get into trouble. I
can push a chair to climb into the cupboards,
on top of counter tops or tables, over porch
railings, or through an open window. I don’t
know what trouble I can get myself into. Put
screens in the windows and make sure they are
latched securely.
• When you take me shopping, strap me into
the shopping cart seat. If there isn’t a strap, make
sure that I stay in the seat.
• Watch me carefully when I am around
water. I like to play in water, but I can easily
drown in a few inches of water in a tub, toilet
bowl, bucket, ice chest, or wading pool.
help me be healthy
At this checkup:
• I will be weighed and measured.
• I will be checked all over.
• I will show how I can walk.
• I will have my teeth checked.
• Take my shot record with us as I might
have missed an immunization and may get
them now.
16–18 months
help me learn
• Read to me everyday.
• When I point, tell me what I should say.
If I point to the cat, say “it’s a cat,” so I can hear
the words that I am trying to say.
• Let me help you. Let me take a spoon to the
table or put dirty clothes with the clothes that
need to be washed.
• Let me play in the bath to learn the skills of
pouring and squeezing. I like to play with plastic
bowls and containers in the tub. Do not leave me
alone in the tub.
• Remind me again and again what is
okay for me to touch and what is not okay for
me to touch. I am just learning how things work. I
will not remember what I should not touch yet.
• Teach me to take care of my teeth by
helping me brush my teeth with child-sized,
soft bristled tooth brush and water. I can use
toothpaste that does not have fluoride.
I don’t know any better…
if I am going to be in a child care
program, please review the finding
quality child care reference in this guide
You can see what I am able to do from the
”watch for me to” lists in this guide. I may
be a little early on some activities and a little late on
some others. If you are concerned, though, you could
talk to my doctor or nurse. Sometimes when I’ve been
sick, it might serve as the reason for me to take longer
to do the items on these lists. I will probably learn
them in the order that they are listed in this guide,
however I will do them at an older age.
watch for me to
• Use a fork or spoon when I eat. I can
get most of the food in my mouth.
• Undress myself and take off my jacket,
pants, and shirt.
• Pretend to do things. I will try to feed a doll
or my stuffed animals using a bottle or spoon.
• Run.
• Make a tower of 4 or more blocks.
• Point to the picture in a book if you ask
me to find something. For example, “show me
the dog.”
• Use at least 6 different words.
Saying many simple and many new words.
However, I can still get easily frustrated
and will still throw tantrums because I’m not
communicating with words well enough to
express my needs.
• Point to 2 different body parts when
you ask me where they are. For example,
“where’s your nose, where’s your mouth?”
• Walk up the stairs all by myself. I will
have to hold onto the wall or railing.
• Kick a ball forward.
help me be safe
• My house may be safe for me. What
happens when we go visiting? Keep me in your
sight so I don’t get into any safety problems. Take
some toys with me so I don’t have to go exploring.
• If someone comes to visit us, put the visitor’s
purse or bag in a place where I can’t reach it.
There could be some pills and other things in
there that I should not have.
• Are there any doors that I could lock?
Could I get locked in the bathroom? Is there a way
that you could get me out? An outside lock release
on the bathroom door would solve that problem.
help me learn
• Read to me daily.
• Play “dress-up” and “telephone” with me.
Help me pretend.
• Say nursery rhymes and sing songs
with me.
• Let me play in front of a mirror.
• Show me how to use things we have
around the house.
• Let me use a broom or mixing spoon.
• Take me on walks and let me look, listen,
and touch.
help me be healthy
At this checkup:
• I will be weighed and measured.
• You may be asked to describe how I
play and what I like to do.
• You may be asked to describe what I eat
and how much food I eat. Some doctors suggest
that a cholesterol screen be done now. What
does my doctor think?
• I may be screened to see if I have been
exposed to lead. I can get lead into my body
by breathing or eating lead dust, chips, or flakes.
This lead can get into my nerves and bones. It
can affect the way I learn, grow, and hear. The
earlier we catch the problem, the less harm will
be done to me.
• I know you are getting tired of changing
diapers. You would really like me to use the
toilet. Don’t rush me. It will be easier to teach me
how to use the toilet if you wait until I can tell you
that I am wet or have pooped. Be patient.
18–24 months
I am growing up fast…
• Offer me choices. I can tell you if I want to
wear red or blue today or if I want a banana
or cracker.
• Play with a pan of water or sand so I can
pour, scoop, and dig.
• Play some music so we can sing and
dance together.
• Talk with me before I go to bed. Let’s talk
about what happened today and what’s going to
happen tomorrow.
Help me feel good about myself. Here
are some ideas:
• I will copy your words. Use only the words
that you want me to say.
• I like to be told when I have done a
good job.
• Hug me, cuddle me and tell me that you
love me.
• Thank me if I have been helpful.
• Tell me what to do, rather than what not
to do. An example would be “use your walking
feet” rather than “don’t run.”
if you’re concerned about my progress,
please review the concerned about your
child’s development reference in this guide
Play with me. It helps me learn. Read me
stories. I like to pick out my favorites.
Sing songs like “London Bridge” and “Ring Around
the Rosie.”
Let me help you around the house. I can pick
up my clothes and toys or put napkins on the table. Let
me help.
Help me learn the names of new people, colors,
feelings, animals, plants and other things.
Listen to me even when I don’t make sense. My
mood can change in a second!
I notice what comes “first, next, last” when
routines are followed. I don’t like changes in my
schedule, it confuses me.
help me be safe
• When cooking on the stove, turn pot
handles to the center of the stove. Don’t leave
spoons or other utensils hanging over the edge
of the pot. I can pull on the handles and pour hot
liquid over me.
• When I do have an accident, such as
touching a hot oven and burning my fingers, help
me understand what happened. Explain that if I
touch the oven when it is hot, I will be burned.
• Empty ashtrays. You don’t want me to play
with cigarette ashes. Empty drinking glasses and
remove beverage cans. Remove all cigarettes and
alcohol from my reach.
• Look at the toys in my toy box. Are there
any broken toys? Either fix them or throw them
away. Do any toys have sharp edges? Be sure all
my toys are safe for me to use.
help me learn
• Make up a song or story using my
name. Change the words to match my actions
or feelings. This may help me calm down when I
am cranky.
• Draw and color simple shapes with large
crayons with me.
• I can do 3 to 6 piece puzzles.
• I like to build with blocks.
help me be healthy
Look for signs that I am ready to start
using the toilet.
• I will let you know that I am ready. If you
wait to start toilet teaching until I am ready, the
process may be easier that if you try to push me
before I am ready. I will let you know I am ready
when I can:
• Stay dry for a few hours after emptying my bladder.
• Tell you, “I am wet” or “I have to use the potty.”
• Pull my pants down and up.
• Understand and follow your directions when
you tell me, “go into the bathroom,” “wipe”
or “pull up your pants.”
• At first, I may not even go when I sit on the
toilet. I need time to get used to sitting on the toilet.
Be patient with me while I learn how to use the
toilet. There are books at the library about toilet
teaching that could answer many of your questions.
I get hungry often.
• I will usually eat 3 meals and 2 or 3 snacks
a day.
• While I do like soda, cookies and candy,
it is better for me to have milk, cheese, fruits,
vegetables, bread and some meat. Snacks that
are good for me are cheese, yogurt, juice,
unsweetened cereal, fruits and vegetables cut into
small pieces or part of a sandwich.
• I am learning what foods taste like. There
will be some foods that I do not like now, just as
there are some foods you don’t like.
• If I’m a picky eater, I might try a new food
if you give a very small serving of it. I am more
willing to try a new food if I know I won’t be
forced to eat it. I like it when you give me a taste
of the food from your plate.
2 years
when I play, I learn…
• Give me a paintbrush, a newspaper, and
a dish of colored water. Let me “paint” the
newspaper. The fun is dipping, stroking, and
seeing the color come off. Don’t expect a picture.
• Provide for me pushing and pulling toys,
riding toys, a pounding bench, punching bag, or
large pillow for active play. I love to rough and
tumble play!
• I still don’t understand sharing, but like to
be with other children for short periods of time.
• I may show my anger by slapping, biting,
and hitting. Make it safe for me to do these
actions to things and not people (ex: biting a cold
washcloth, hitting a large pillow). Tell me what
words to say when I am angry with others so I
can continue practicing what to do.
• I’m beginning to learn the meaning of
“soon” and I am learning to wait. Help me by
recognizing this and be patient.
• Ask you questions and follow simple
directions.
• Brush my teeth with your help.
You may notice that I also:
• Say new words, but I may not know the
meaning of the words.
• Am eating the same good food you
eat. I like mine cut into small pieces that I can
eat safely with my own little spoon.
• Ask to go to the toilet sometimes.
There is so much to learn! I am learning what
is important to me. If you are concerned about
what I cannot do yet, talk to my doctor or nurse.
watch for me to
• Learn to develop a sense of who I am.
It is important for me to develop autonomy—to
begin to understand the concept of “me” apart
from “you.” I might lovingly snuggle close
at one moment and then push you away the
next. Use of words like “me,” “mine,” and
“no” are attempts to define myself as my own
decision maker.
• Run and jump. When I jump up, I can get
both feet off the ground at the same time.
• Say my own name.
• Stand and balance.
• Put on some clothes that are easy to get on.
• Point to a picture and name
something in the picture.
• Say two-word phrases like “play ball” or
“want drink.”
if you ever
need parenting
guidance call
2-1-1 for help
This year marks the end of baby/
toddlerhood and the beginning of early childhood.
I am more independent now and have a better
understanding of myself. I can make simple choices,
like to please adults, get easily excited, and have
mastered the basics of speech and language. I am
beginning to play with other children and sometimes
can become jealous and am still learning how to
share and take turns.
help me be safe
• Try to keep all plants out of my reach.
If I do eat any parts of a plant, call the Poison
Control Center at 1-800-222-1222. Some plants
are poisonous.
• Keep the trash inside a latched cabinet,
or in a place where I cannot get into it. Don’t
let me reach for anything in the trash. I could
find can lids, food, plastic bags and many other
dangerous items.
• If I have a swing and slide, are they safe
and sturdy for me to use?
• Help me learn to pick up my toys and put
them where they belong.
• Take me to a play group or invite a child
who is about my age to my house so we can
play together.
Help me to learn to do what you want.
• When I need to do something, tell me and
show me what I should do. For example, if I
throw a doll at my sister because I want to play
with her game, I need to know why I should not
throw the doll and what words to say to work it
out with her.
• I also need to know that sometimes the
answer is “no” from others and I need to respect
the other person’s decision not to share.
• Yelling or spanking me will not help me
learn what you want me to do.
• Praise me when I am doing what you want
me to do. Telling me good things that I do will
help me learn quickly. Hug me to show that you
are happy about what I am doing. I like to please
you. This discipline strategy works better than
punishing me.
If you need more tips on parenting certain behaviors,
visit the Oklahoma State Department of Health’s Child
Guidance webpage for parenting publications to
read: http://www.ok.gov/health/Child_and_Family_
Health/Child_Guidance_Service/
help me be healthy
At this checkup:
• I will be weighed and measured.
• I will have my hearing and vision checked.
• I may have a blood test to see that I am
healthy.
• I may be checked for lead poisoning.
• The doctor or nurse will want to know
what new things I can do, what my sleeping
habits are and what I eat.
• If I have missed immunizations, I should
have them now. Now that my teeth are in, it’s
time to schedule my first visit to the dentist.
3 years
help me learn
• Take me to the library to check out
some books.
• Show me how to take things apart and
put them back together again. Be sure pieces are
big enough so I won’t choke on them.
• Take me outside. Show me how to run and
throw a ball. Teach me the things that are better
to do outside rather than in the house.
�� Teach me how to describe how things feel.
Show me what is soft, sticky, hard, rough and furry.
• Write down the stories that I tell. Read them
back to me.
• Play a game with me of matching colors.
I am not a baby anymore…
if I am going to be in a child
care program, please review
the finding quality child care
reference in this guide
watch for me to
• Gain control of finger-hand activities.
• Enjoy fast moving activities—running,
jumping, climbing, and tumbling.
• Possibly have an imaginary friend.
Use this friend to set good examples for me.
• Like to be “the boss.” I will respond better
to positive suggestions rather than demands.
I can “bargain” and will do something for a
good reason.
• Experience more tension as I become
more independent and may start nail biting,
stuttering, thumb sucking, nose picking,
spitting, and whining. Instead of trying to get
me to quit these behaviors, help me reduce
tension.
• Point to and tell you about the
pictures in my favorite books.
• Throw a ball overhand.
• Talk in sentences that have four or more
words in them.
I am growing at my own pace. I do some things
a little early and some things a little late. If we
already know that I have a disability or delay
that prevents me from doing some of these things
now, understand that I will probably be able to
do these later on. It will take me a little longer to
learn how to do these.
Calming a crying baby can be difficult.
Comforting your baby is sometimes a “trial and error”
process. Experiment with the following ideas. See what
works best for you and your baby!
when these
ideas don’t
work…
Try to stay calm. This isn’t easy!
NEVER SHAKE YOUR
BABY! This can damage your
baby’s brain.
If you are upset, it’s okay to put your baby
in a crib and take a break for up to 15 minutes.
If you are still feeling upset after this
break, you may need another adult to care for
your baby while you take a longer break. Call a
family member, friend, or neighbor to come help.
If your frustration is high and you are still
upset, or feel you may lose control, leave the
room and call or contact another adult to watch
your child while you calm down. All parents need
help and support sometimes. Caring for children
can be stressful.
If you are upset or angry and think you
might hurt your baby—get help!! Call a
neighbor, a friend, a church, your local county
health department, a parent assistance center, or
the Oklahoma Child Abuse Hot Line at
1-800-522-3511.
Getting help is a sign of strength. It is the best
thing you can do for you and your baby!
• Hold your baby close to your heart. The
sound of your heartbeat is familiar and calming.
• Move your baby to a new position.
• Dim the lights, turn the TV down or off.
• Rock your baby gently, or try a wind-up swing.
(Make sure baby’s head is supported.)
• Let your baby suck his or her fingers or
a pacifier. (Do not put a pacifier on a string and
place it around baby’s neck.)
• Take a warm bath together.
• Distract your baby with an interesting sight such
as fish swimming in a tank, a flashlight shining on a
wall or a mobile.
• Wrap your baby snugly in a blanket.
• Take your baby for a walk outside or go for a
drive in the car.
• Sing softly to your baby.
ask yourself…
• Is my baby sick or feverish?
• Is my baby hungry?
• Does my baby need to be burped?
• Does my baby need a dry diaper?
• Is my baby bored or lonely?
• Is my baby over stimulated?
• Is my baby over or under dressed?
• Is my baby in strong sunlight or a cold draft?
• Are my baby’s hands and feet cold?
• Is my baby uneasy about his arms and legs being
too free to move around? Does he need to be
“swaddled” by wrapping him snugly in a blanket
with his hands up to his face?
how to help your
crying baby
• Turn on a fan. Soft background noise sometimes
helps.
• Lay your baby tummy down across your
lap and rub his or her back, or sway your knees
from side to side.
• Turn on some slow music and slow dance
together.
• Some babies enjoy having all their clothes off.
• If your baby cries at bath time and is startled
by water, wrap him or her in a diaper or soft
blanket before getting them wet. Remove the cover
when baby feels more comfortable.
• Don’t use food as a first solution to a crying
crisis, especially if your baby has eaten recently.
More food may add to the problem.
• If crying seems worse at 3 weeks, 6 weeks or
3 months, your baby may be hungry during these
growth periods.
quIck reference: helping your CRYING BABY
some ideas you might try…
if you ever need parenting
guidance call 2-1-1 for help
you may
notice…
• You may notice that your child is a little
slower than other children to do some things.
• Your baby may look healthy at birth. As
you use this guide, you may notice that your child
takes longer to do some of the activities listed
here. All children develop at different rates.
• The sooner you have your questions
answered about your child, the better it will be
for both you and your child.
• Children can be slower to learn new
skills because of illness, an accident, or one
of many other reasons. By knowing what the
problem is, you can begin to help your child
develop in ways that are appropriate for him or
her. The earlier this begins, the better the chances
are to help your child reach his or her potential.
quick reference: concerned about your Child’s developmenT
what if you are
concerned about
your child’s
development?
Gather some information
look at the lists provided in this guide that
shows what children can do at a certain age. check
off the skills your child has. if you suspect that your
child has a developmental delay or a disability, ask
your child’s teacher, doctor or nurse about books
and materials available to help you. To receive
more information about parent networks of children
with a similar condition contact 211(http://
www.211oklahoma.org/) or the Oklahoma
Areawide Services information System (OASiS) at
1-800-426-2747 (http://oasis.ouhsc.edu/).
Make an appointment with your doctor
do not wait, thinking that the situation will
change, or get better. Don’t wait until the next well-baby
checkup. The sooner you have your questions
answered, the better it is for you and your child!
At the doctor’s appointment, show the doctor
the list of what your child can do and cannot do.
Discuss your concerns with the doctor and ask for
ideas on how you can help your child learn new
skills. Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion.
To have your child further evaluated,
contact SoonerStart through Oklahoma Areawide
Services information System (OASiS) at 1-800-
426-2747 or your local county health department.
for children newborn to age 3, SoonerStart
provides services for children with diagnosed
developmental or emotional delays and disabilities.
if your child is 3 or above, your doctor can suggest
agencies to contact to have your child evaluated.
Be very clear about why you want your child
evaluated, so the doctor can refer you to the best
agency for your child.
If you are concerned, here’s
what to do:
if you ever need
parenting guidance
call 2-1-1 for help
how to recognize
quality child care
how to find quality
child care
Begin your search as early as possible.
Interview with several caregivers well in advance
of the time you will first need care. Visit each of
them more than once—at different times—over a
period of several days to get a feel for the rhythm
and pace of the caregiver’s routine. How does
the caregiver interact with the children? Does the
caregiver enjoy taking and playing with them? How
does the caregiver respond to a fussy child or resolve
conflicts among children? A capable, loving child
care provider is in control, but shows flexibility in
responding to the needs of different children. Keep
visiting from time to time, even after you’ve selected
child care.
look at things from
your child’s point
of view
To really understand the child care environment,
look at the space from your child’s level. Is the home
or center childproofed and clean? Ask yourself the
questions your child might ask: “Do they have toys
for me?” “Is there a space to put my things?” Are the
other children happy and content?
less is more
• Know what ratios are allowed and what
ratio you prefer. In Oklahoma, the child-to-caregiver
ratio for infants is 1 to 4 and toddlers
1 to 6. A low child-to-caregiver ratio is especially
important for infants and young toddlers.
ask plenty of questions
• Are providers licensed? You’ll
want to know about your caregiver’s
qualifications, special training and past
child care experiences—as well as those
of other adults who will interact with
your child in the child care setting. Don’t
be afraid to ask specific questions. In
fact, the more specific, the better. Have
certain topics in mind that cover all your
concerns...from the child care facility’s
expectations of you to your accessibility
to your child at all times. Good caregivers
will answer your questions easily, openly,
honestly. Then ask to speak with the
parents of other children in their care.
Always check references!
look for the stars
• The Oklahoma Division of Child
Care issues star ratings to child care
centers and family child care homes for
meeting quality criteria that exceed state
licensing requirements. These star ratings
are based upon each child care facility’s
program standards, staff education levels
and compliance history with child care
regulations. The range of stars issued is
from one to three, with three being the
highest. You can improve the quality of
care for your child by choosing a two-or
three-star child care facility.
For more information about choosing
quality child care, contact the Oklahoma Child
Care Resource and Referral Associations at
1-888-962-2772 or www.oklahomachildcare.org.
quICK ReFeRenCe: finding quality ChilD CAre
quality child
care checklist
Take this checklist with you as you visit caregivers.
Ask these questions to help you choose good quality
child care.
 Training and education: Does the person who
will be caring for your child have the required
special training? Caregivers with degrees and/
or special training in working with children will be
better able to help your child learn.
 Positive interaction: Does the caregiver attend
to children’s needs and give them lots of attention
and encouragement? Do you see her talking to
children at their eye level and listening closely to
each child? Children need to form a bond with
their caregiver and feel safe and loved.
 Teacher turnover: How long has the caregiver
been in the same program or providing child care
in the home? Caregivers who come and go make it
hard on your child. It’s best if children can stay with
the same caregiver for at least a year.
 low child/adult ratio: Are just a few children
being cared for by one caregiver? You want your
child to get plenty of attention. The fewer the
children for each caregiver, the better situation for
your child. And the younger your child, the more
important this is.
 Group size: If there is more than one caregiver
in the setting, is the total number of children in the
group still fairly small? A small group is usually
safer and calmer.
 health and safety: Does the place look clean
and safe? Is hand washing done often? What is
the plan in case of emergency or disaster? Clean
environments reduce illness and the spread of
germs. Safe programs reduce the risk of injury.
 regulation: Is the child care center or family child
care home licensed and inspected by the state of
Oklahoma? Oklahoma requires most child care
programs to have a license. A license does not
ensure quality, but it does set minimum standards.
 learning environment: Is there a daily
schedule with planned activities for children to do
as well as lots of time for free play? Do caregivers
read to children? Good child care programs offer
active play and learning activities to help children
enter school with the skills they need to succeed.
 Star ratings: How many Oklahoma quality rating
stars has the program earned? (three is the highest)
Programs with more stars have met voluntary
standards for child care that are higher than basic
licensing requirements.
 Accreditation: Is the child care program
accredited by a national organization? Accredited
child care programs are more likely to offer a
higher quality of care.
 Family involvement: Does the caregiver
welcome drop-in visits and parent ideas and
involvement? Good child care programs involve
parents and work as a team with the family to meet
the needs of children.
 You know your child best: Will your child be
happy there?
Portions of this checklist were reprinted with
permission from Child Care Aware, a program of
nACCRRA.
Finding quality child care is one of the most important
decisions parents can make. Your local child care resource
and referral agency will help you examine all your options and
make an informed choice that is best for your child. Search
thoroughly, ask plenty of questions, listen intently and remember
whose future is at stake.
immunization
schedule
resources for parents
“simplified” childhood
OK BY ONE
2-1-1
2-1-1 is an easy to remember telephone number that
connects people with important community services
and volunteer opportunities. While services that
are offered through 2-1-1 vary from community to
community, 2-1-1 provides callers with information
about and referrals to human services for every day
needs and in times of crisis.
Call: 211
Website: http://www.211oklahoma.org/
OASIS Information and
Referral Service (Oklahoma
Areawide Services
Information System)
OASIS is a statewide resource center, providing
information, referral and assistance for Oklahomans
with disabilities and special health care needs.
Anyone needing help can call the toll-free number
or search on online directory from the link below.
OASIS has a database of thousands of agencies,
organizations and programs throughout the state,
and can help people find the services they need
in their area. OASIS also has listings of national
organizations and agencies as well as local support
groups and parent-to-parent support. OASIS also
houses the Oklahoma Respite Resource Network and
the Respite Voucher program.
Call: 1-800-426-2747
Website: http://oasis.ouhsc.edu/
Oklahoma Child Care
Resource and Referral
Association (OCCRRA)
The Oklahoma Child Care Resource and Referral
Association, Inc. (OCCRRA) provides free services
to families statewide through a network of offices,
strategically placed to serve all 77 counties. Services
include referrals to child care facilities that meet a
family’s specific needs, information on how to look for
quality child care and Oklahoma’s “Reaching for the
Stars” program, resources that can pay some of the
costs of care or provide community services, and tips
on balancing the competing needs of work and family.
Call: 1-888-962-2772
Website: www.oklahomachildcare.org/
Oklahoma Department of
Human Services
The Oklahoma Department of Human Services
provides a multitude of services. One important
online resource is the Child Care Locator/Summary
of Facility Monitoring. It is here that the public can
locate a child care facility, obtain contact information,
view its star level, and a summary of the licensing
representatives visits. The case files of child care
centers and family child care homes are open to the
public. Appointments may be made to view these
files in the county OKDHS Licensing Services office.
A Child Care Licensing Specialist will be available to
discuss the file with you and answer any questions you
may have about the contents of a file.
Website: http://www.okdhs.org/
Click on Child Care Locator/Summary of Facility
Monitoring
Hotlines
Child or Adult Abuse Hotline
1-800-522-3511
Child Support Enforcement
1-800-522-2922
Poison Control Hotline
1-800-222-1222
Women, Infants and Children (WIC Hotline)
1-888-655-2942
resources continued on next page
if you ever need
parenting guidance
call 2-1-1 for help
quICK ReFeReNCe: schedule for ImmunIzAtIonS / PArEnt rESourCES
Immunize your children against
13 dAngErouS dISEASES as
early as possible!
don’t miss your appointment!
The “Simplified” Childhood Immunization Schedule is compatible with the recommendations of the Advisory Committee on Immunizations Practices (ACIP) of the u.S. Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention (CDC), the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Academy of Family Physicians. If you have any questions, call the Oklahoma Immunization
Service toll-free at 1-800-234-6196. Immunization Service — oklahoma State department of Health
12
months
11
months
10
months
9
months
8
months
7
months
6
months
5
months
4
months
3
months
2
months
1
month
birth
Hepatitis B
child’s age in months
vaccine
diphtheria, tetanus, Pertussis
rotavirus
Polio
Haemophilus influenzae b
Pneumococcal Conjugate
measles, mumps, rubella
Varicella
Hepatitis A
smart start communities
other resources for parents
Can’t afford health care?
Don’t have health insurance?
You may qualify for SoonerCare provided
by the Oklahoma Health Care Authority
(OHCA).
SoonerCare is free health insurance that provides
medical benefits to eligible pregnant women, children
under the age of 19 and individuals with disabilities.
Eligibility is based on family size and income
guidelines set by the state. Visit OHCA on the web at:
www.ohca.state.ok.us
Have a fixed income?
Concerned about your child’s
nutrition?
You may qualify for WIC provided by the
Oklahoma State Department of Health
(OSDH).
WIC provides food vouchers for a special package of
nutritious food, supplemented with nutrition education
and referrals for additional health care. For more
information, or to find out if you are eligible for WIC,
call the WIC hotline or visit the Oklahoma State
Department of Health on the web at: www.health.ok.gov
Need help with the
challenges of parenting?
All families can benefit from the services that Child
Guidance programs offer at local county health
departments throughout the state. These services
provide important and useful information and
resources that help guide parents in nurturing
their children, and promote healthy behaviors that
strengthen family relationships. To build healthy family
relationships and enhance child development, services
are offered in three specialty areas: behavioral health,
early childhood development and parent education,
and speech language and audiology services. Visit
Child Guidance at http://www.ok.gov/health/Child_
and_Family_Health/Child_Guidance_Service/
Other Helpful Websites
Oklahoma Commission on
Children and Youth
www.okkids.org
Oklahoma Department of Education
www.sde.state.ok.us
Oklahoma Department of Human Services
www.okdhs.org
Oklahoma State Department of Health
www.health.ok.gov
SoonerStart
http://se.sde.state.ok.us/ses/preschool/
if you ever need parenting
guidance call 2-1-1 for help
Smart Start South Central Oklahoma
580-559-5367
580-310-9007 fax
1100 E 14th, PMB E-3
Ada, OK 74820
Smart Start Bartlesville (Success By 6)
918-337-6500
918-337-6525 fax
5110 Tuxedo Blvd.
Bartlesville, OK 74006
Smart Start Canadian County
405-262-6555
405-262-6557 fax
7565 E US Hwy 66
El Reno, OK 73036
Smart Start Cherokee County
918-456-3032
918-456-3329 fax
816 South College
Tahlequah, OK 74464
Smart Start Tri County
580-326-6441
580-326-4841 fax
502 W. Duke
Hugo, OK 74743
Smart Start Durant
580-745-2105
580-745-7452 fax
1405 N 4th PMB 4232
Durant, OK 74701
Smart Start Northwest Oklahoma
580-548-2268
580-548-2342 fax
2615 E Randolph
Enid, OK 73701
Smart Start Logan-Kingfisher County
405-282-5524
405-293-9684 fax
4710 S Division
Guthrie, OK 73044
Smart Start Kiamichi Country
918-471-9192
918-967-2071 fax
200 SE A Street
Stigler, OK 74462
Smart Start Lawton (Success By 6)
580-355-0218(w)
580-704-044(c)
580-355-0810 fax
1116 SW ‘A’ Avenue
Lawton, OK 73501
Smart Start Muskogee
918-683-9541 ext 233
918-760-3040(c)
918-682-3559 fax
619 N Main
Muskogee, OK 74401
Smart Start Norman
(Success By 6/United Way)
405-364-3800
405-329-1878 fax
550 24th Avenue NW, Suite D
Norman, OK 73063
Smart Start Central Oklahoma
405-523-3599
405-231-0228 fax
1444 NW 28th st, 73106
Oklahoma City, OK 73103
Smart Start Kay County
580-765-9015
580-762-4539 fax
205 N. 2nd Street
Ponca City, OK 74601
Smart Start Pottawatomie County
(Success By 6)
405-273-6833
405-273-4114 fax
23 E 9th Street, Suite 333
Shawnee, OK 74801
Smart Start Stephens County
580-255-3648
580-255-3800 fax
12 South 8th Street Suite 9
Duncan, OK 73534-1632
Smart Start Payne County
405-377-2786
405-707-9712 fax
1601 South Main
Stillwater, OK 74074-7933
Smart Start Tulsa (Jump Start)
918-585-5551
918-585-3285 fax
16 E 16th, Suite 100
Tulsa, OK 74119
for more information on smart start communities visit:
smartstartoklahoma.org
visit our website: smartstartoklahoma.org
This Guide was underwritten through the generosity of
The Ronald McDonald House of Oklahoma City www.rmhokc.org
This publication is authorized by the Oklahoma Commission for Human Services in accordance with state and
federal regulations and printed by the Oklahoma Department of Human Services at a cost of $108,000.00 for
50,307 copies. Copies have been deposited with the Publications Clearinghouse of the Oklahoma Department of
Libraries. OKDHS offices may request copies on ADM-9 (23AM009E) electronic supply orders. Members of the
public may obtain copies by contacting OKDHS Design Services at (405) 962-1714 or by faxing (405) 962-1740.
421 NW 13th St., Suite 270, Oklahoma City, OK 73103
405.278.6978 • 866.283.0987